Okay, overthinkers, we got this.

It seems like everyone in the world has suddenly taken on our beautiful and complicated cognitive stylings. Because of the onset and spreading of COVID-19, I am seeing the familiar face of overthinking and anxiety everywhere I look. Folks that were born sucking on a chill pill are now suffering some level of health anxiety, social anxiety, germ anxiety and insomnia. Their cortisol and adrenalin are pumping hard and high. They are feeling panicky. They are ruminating and hyper-focussing. They are catastrophising. They are indecisive and unsure. They can’t stop damn well thinking. And they don’t know what to do. BUT WE DO.

Everyone is worried…except these goofballs…

This is our time to shine overthinkers. We have been through this for years, we know how it works, how it feels and how destructive and stressful it can be. We have lived through a thousand crises like this in our heads, we have played out every worst case scenario and imagined our own personal armageddons on an almost daily basis. Let’s step in and help these poor suckers, it’s their first time.
BUT BEFORE WE BEGIN, I want to check in with you.

How are you? Are you okay? Are you getting through all of this?

To all my overthinking friends - are you drowning, or waving?

I find most days I do a bit of both. In my head last week, I wrote a list of all of my COVID-19 related worries (and added them to the other worries). It was an epic tome that I wouldn’t have time to write if I was quarantined for a hundred years. Even my short list gave me a dry mouth and a permanently raised heart rate.

This global trauma is an unfortunate reminder that our incredible brains can quickly tumble into anxiety, and anxiety can quickly go from tense and uncomfortable to clinical. In times of crisis please remember to reach out and get help. I know it’s hard, and WHO WANTS TO GO TO THE DOCTOR AND SIT IN A WAITING ROOM RIGHT NOW? I had to go to the doctor the other day and this was me trying not to touch anything:

I’m fine, you go, I’ll just go around, no I won’t sit down thanks, I’ll just stand here by the door…

Before you go, check out the telehealth options where you are, they are popping up for people going through hard times but not able to get to a clinic. You can talk to someone over zoom, skype or doxy.me and in many places, a remote session is now being covered by health insurance (check out yours).

For those of you that are getting by, or actually realising you do well in a crisis (because you have been mentally preparing for this for years!!), let’s do this:

5 tips to help first time overthinkers and those who are new to excessive worry:

Let them newbies know it is okay to feel how they are feeling. In the mental health world we talk about having ‘a normal response to an abnormal event’. The spread of the coronavirus, the risk of you or your loved one catching it and the loss of so many people all over the world is an unfamiliar, unpredictable, stressful (read: traumatic) crisis. It is one of those moments where you get to say ‘if you weren’t worried, it would be a worry!’
Remember that people that are not usually aware of their feelings might miss-identify their own worry. Are you seeing angry people, frustrated, or aggressive people? Are you flummoxed and appalled by the sometimes hideous behaviour of your fellow human beings. This is fright, flight or fight in it’s rawest form. Everyone is heightened and they have no idea what to do with all that adrenalin and cortisol. They have their fists up and their brain switched from ‘rational and regulated’ (if they ever had that switch?) to ‘every man for himself.’ The ones to watch out for? Those who are in fright, flight or freeze. This might be your work colleagues, your friends, or particularly our younger generations. They might be feeling helpless, hopeless or useless. They might not want to do anything, they might be too scared, or too sad or too worried. Check on these folks the most, they need us. And they may need extra help from professionals.
Turn off the news. Talk about something else. Gauge the level of stress buzzing around and choose not to enter it. The numbers are going up whether you are watching them or not. I know a group of friends that put two bucks in a virtual jar every time one of them mentions the virus. All of them talk about it ad infinitum with everyone else, so they enjoy having a space to hear about ANYTHING ELSE that might be going on in the world and each other’s lives.
When the news/social media/life/conversations get overwhelming, grab the newbies and teach them how to ‘watch the traffic from the side of the road’ or ‘be the bird flying over the beach’. It might be the best gift they have ever received.
Link them in. You know the websites (like this one!), you know the clinics, you know the supportive twitter sites, you know the best psychs and the best meds. Share your knowledge, guide the newbies, be their mentor. Talk them down from their catastrophising without compromising your own health. Acknowledge that you know how real it feels (and on this occasion it may actually be real). Sit with them (online/on the phone etc) and show them how to listen to music, meditate, colour in, knit, garden, watch stupid youtube videos, breathe, exercise (inside or with social distance), write, count, sit with the discomfort, do smiling mind activities, access telehealth therapy - whatever you have been doing every typical day to keep yourself functioning. Remember different strokes for different folks, and - you all know this one - unsolicited advice is always bad advice!
Check in and check out and check in again. Social contact is necessary for most humans. Isolation does not have to mean isolated. Let them know you are going to see how they are feeling but of course make sure you are also looking after yourself. Perhaps suggest they can use their new knowledge and skills to help someone else get through their challenging time. It’s the time for paying it forward and nothing boosts wellbeing more than helping someone else who needs it.

Coronavirus, Overthinking and 5 Tips for Helping the Newbies